You cannot locate Snivy, and this already begins to piss you right off.

This is all this thing has done to you so far. It’s been a menace. A ninja. A ninja menace. You have never been able to stand ninjas or menaces, so this does not help your aspirations to becoming a decent trainer at all. You can’t wait until you can make this snake thing wipe its smug expression off of its face with a wet towel, and…

Is something tickling your back?

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS.

You hail from NUVEMA TOWN, the starting town in the UNOVA region for many a trainer. There was once a hero who even began his journey here, but you DON’T PARTICULARLY CARE ABOUT THAT.

Before POKEMON TRAINING, you held (and still do hold) a variety of interests. This includes watching SHITTY AND GAG-REFLEX TICKLING MOVIES AND ROMCOMS. Other kids in the neighborhood have mocked your tastes, but they can just SUCK A RAILROAD SPIKE. You like to try to program POKEMON EQUIPMENT and COMPUTERS, namely with the PRETTY COOL VIRUSES you crank out with your AWESOME CODING SKILLS that you believe you have.

You just started your fateful journey, during which PROFESSOR JUNIPER entrusted a SNIVY to you. This little guy PRANKS THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF YOU and likes to MESS WITH YOUR HEAD, a habit that constantly DRIVES YOU UP A WALL FASTER THAN A LIEPARD. Seriously, what is up with this smug snake, just fiddling with you. Smugly.

You have been given an XTRANSCEIVER, upgraded with these new fancy INSTANT MESSAGING modules (hereby dubbed as XIM), to communicate with other trainers. Your XIM tag is carcinoGeneticist and you speak in a manner that isALMOST EXCLUSIVELY ORNERY, ALL THE TIME. 

What will you do?